We all have a life plan. Of the eight or so decades of existence on this earth, each is designated for a purpose. The twenties are a search for a stable job, a career and a lasting relationship. The thirties construct the foundation that the forties continue to build on the structure, the fifties and beyond. We add to our life's structure with expectations on a future which we feel is sound, based on the accomplishments which construct the walls of our own self-esteem.

Then, it all comes crashing down, with one word: unemployed.

Losing a job is much more than a simple matter of a paycheck. There are multiple social services and government agencies who provide the basics of food and shelter, but there are few who can provide sustenance for the soul. The darkness in the soul manifests itself in a variety of ways we never expect.

The first few days after losing a job is a bit of a vacation. We don't have to set the alarm clock because we no longer have a reason to wake up early. We don't have to get dressed, because we don't have anywhere to go. We don't have to shower, or shave, and now we have free time to watch all the movies we missed and read all those books we've wanted to read, and just relax. For awhile.

Until we've read all those books, and watched all those movies…twice and we still don't have a reason to set our alarm clock so we don't have a reason to get out of bed, or shower, or shave and we wonder how it happened that once we were a "somebody" who had a reason to set our alarm clock and get out of bed and take a shower and shave, and now we're a "nobody" and the only thing we have to look forward to another day of the same.

When we meet new people, the first thing they'll ask is "What do you do?" We are identified by what we do, as if, somehow, our job validates our existence. If the answer is "nothing", then, in a sense, we are nothing. We're not looking for a job, we're looking, searching, desperately for who we are, not what job we do.

We sit down and construct our resume. One page or several brief "advertisements" of what we are selling; ourself, in the hopes that someone, anyone, will buy our talent, our experience…us.

We realize there are many identical products, so what makes us so special? What do we have that someone needs and is willing to pay for when they know that the supply for our product is so much greater than the demand, and that those buyers are shopping around for the best deal, not necessarily the best product.

We're not cheap, but we start to feel cheap. We start to feel as low as any prostitute standing on a street corner with hundreds of other prostitutes, some with a lot more experience than ours, some with a lot less because they're younger, and we want to step out of the crowd and scream at the top of our lungs; "HIRE ME!" and no one hears.

Our social life has become us and our computer. We can no longer afford the membership dues of all the charitable organizations and associations we used to belong, and so we do not leave our homes to attend the meetings. Nor do we want to socialize with those who will now look at us the way we do; as failures.

We wonder why, after spending so many years helping those less fortunate, that now that we are one of those less fortunate, no one is there to help us. Our still employed friends are too busy working to meet for lunch, which is now only a cup of tea because we can't afford anything more. They almost feel as if our state of unemployed non-existence is somehow contagious.

After all, if this could happen to someone as successful as we were, then it certainly can happen to them, and we can always see the sympathy in their eyes when they leave to "go back to the office", when they know we have no office to go back to. And we can't help that growing anger in our gut, that inner voice which keeps saying how unfair it is, how we don't deserve what has happened to us. And we can't help but think that we wished more than anything that we were our friend going back to the office while he was left behind.

Going to the grocery store is devastating now that we're using a government issued card, formally known as food stamps. We envy the mentally challenged kid bagging our groceries, because he has a job.

Back at home, our walls display our college diplomas and perhaps an advanced degree, now worth less than the frames their in because they tell everyone we're overqualified to even bag groceries. We look at the service awards we've received and want to throw them into a bonfire, which we might have to do if we can't pay the heating bill.

We hate everyone. The "talking heads" who report on the huge lines at job fairs, who all have jobs and are secretly relieved that they're not on that line. The actors selling products we can no longer afford, especially during the holidays. We hate every "happy" holiday greeting because we can't even afford to purchase a card, let alone a present and we have to chose to eat the hard-boiled eggs and not decorate it.

We go on interviews in front of kids less than half our age who doesn't have a family to support and even though we've forgotten more than this kid will ever know, he still has our future in his hands.

We mentally rewind all those years when we gave so much to so many and feel that it was all worthless because now, at this moment, we have no value because we're unemployed. We don't want sympathy. We don't want support. We just want a job.

Some people see others who seem to have more money than them and wonder how it is possible. No matter who you are, chances are you wish you were doing something different in life or had more than you currently do. I’m not saying whether that is the right way to see things or not. Conversely, you might be one of the select few that are doing exactly what you want in life and have everything you want and need. Or, you might be a Zen Master that learned the art of detachment and have no interest or attachment to material things. If you are either one of these two: Congratulations- you don’t need to read this article!

For those of you that can’t help but feel that the grass might be greener on the other side, but can’t figure out how to get there, I’m going to fill you in on a little secret. It’s usually not luck or coincidence, and it is more than just the job they have. There is a psychology underlying the appearance the successful attained. They may not even be aware they are doing it, and those that are aware of it usually don’t share what I am about to, because they have a fear based mindset, falsely believing that there is not enough wealth or success to go around, and they want to keep it for themselves. Or, they may just like feeling better than you! (Of course, they really aren’t.) As for luck, this is a label most often applied by those that lack understanding. For example, someone that knows absolutely nothing about investing, and thinks it is just a gamble, could see someone that regularly takes gains in the stock market as being “lucky”. But that investor is aware of economics, cyclic movements, public sentiment and patterns, company fundamentals and other factors, such as: proper timing.

If we are talking about a psychology of success, why use an example of a person that has a good job or investing knowledge? Certainly they just trained themselves and anyone can do that, right? Maybe you think that the issue is not luck, but rather time and money to begin with. Perhaps they are ahead of you only because they had the time and money to become educated in a profession or skill that earns more than you. Where does psychology come in? The psychology here underlies what you see on the surface. It was the original thought and attitude that preceded their idea and culminated in the results you observe. Their concept was followed through with determination, will-power, focus, resourcefulness, and a consistent belief in their idea becoming reality. This perspective forces events to occur in which opportunities are created. The determined individual is always ready for opportunity and recognizes it when it is presented, wasting no time or hesitating in stepping through that door. They found a way to obtain the funds for the training they desired, they became educated and they persisted in their belief in no other truth than that of their eventual success, until it ultimately became their reality.

For some this process happens smoother and seemingly with less effort, and of course some people are born in to more advantageous circumstances than others. But this doesn’t negate our point, it only brings up the potentiality of metaphysical intentions. Besides, history is filled with stories of success from those who went through extreme circumstances and prevailed against all odds. If you ask them how they did it, they will tell you they always believed things would work out. They left no room or possibility in their minds for failure to accomplish their goals. They are no different than you or I, we can do the same. Don’t let laziness or excuses prevent you from completing your mission; but if you compromised your original desire for a change in situation that you now deem beneficial such as: having children, there is certainly nothing wrong with that. This advice is aimed at helping those that feel lost and want to get back on track, not those that have changed their course and are happy with it. So, think about how to redesign your life, if that is what you want. Then research the pre-requisites to acquire what it is you want. Finally, find a way to accomplish the ascertainment. “Where there is a will, there is a way”, so they say. This is how we can make our own luck in life.